Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
I feel that they prevaricate. Note the gentleman attempting to lower himself
into the valley using a vine. I
attempted the same maneuver and discovered that the vine was not rated for 180
pounds. Therefore, I am going betray the
ugly secrets of Grenada H3, or as one of our minimum wage workers once said,
“spill the peas.”
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
Most hashes start with a berating from diabolical Hashmaster
known as “Soft Wood,” who promises the survivors of the hash an opportunity to
buy beer and chicken.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
But, before we are thrown into the jungle, Soft Wood and his
minions search the hashers looking for unsuspecting victims whose only crime is
wearing a pair of new shoes to a hike.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
The victims are then forced to drink a beer from their left
shoe as some sort of voodoo-science breaking in ceremony. Hardly the way one wants to receive a free
beer.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
Other hashers, much younger than your poor author,
experienced difficulty with what was advertized as, “not too hilly.”
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
The victims of this cruel ruse soon discovered that the
trail not only led you into the valley;
But, then you had to climb back out.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
The victims of this subterfuge are generally nice people. They stop and pet puppies.
Obviously the organizers of this abomination had little
regard for our personal hygiene.
Some however fared better than others.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
Upon safely returning to base camp, the “virgins,” or first time
hashers were encouraged to give, Wendy, a young lady whose only crime was
visiting from Orange County California, a group hug.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
At which time they were summarily doused with copious
amounts of beer in some sort of barbaric cleansing ceremony.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
As if that was not enough, these two fine young men were
called out and berated in front of the crowd.
The one on the left’s crime was taking his mother’s empty bag from her
box wine of Cardboardeaux and making a CamelBak
hydration system. The other
gentleman’s crime was simply choosing to run barefoot through the jungle.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
For their alleged transgressions, they were renamed “Queasy”
and “Camel Toe,” and forced to drink beer from a urinal and chamber pot while
beer is sprayed on them. The most
undignified ceremony I have ever witnessed.
Photo courtesy of Brian Steele
Now that I have spilled the peas, I am sure the Grenada H3
organizers will shape up and fly right. Even
if they are not sufficiently shamed by this posting, I will return next week
because hashing is a great way to see the beautiful island of Grenada.
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